day 2, missing val

Today's day 2 without val, i suddenly feel like the lawyer guy in the hk abalone show where he wrote a diary everyday of his feelings for his ex gf whom he still had strong feelings for, i felt exactly in his position, all lonely and miserable, sitting in the room, typing words in the com to just write a diary of my own feelings... it feels empty inside really, just like a vaccum waiting to be filled... or rather that something that used to take up so much importance in my heart has been drawn out... gosh so this is how a break up is... just pure pure heart ache... no wound on the outside but just so hurt and painful on the inside... i wonder how i would really actually move on, how i could really find another like val.. .so bubbly, so sweet, so accepting, just val.. i just love the way she is... the way she talks to me with harold ( a lil bear) but better not let him know i call him that.. he will actually be piss, according to val... haha.. gosh i miss harold... miss how val pester me to say "good night handsome harold" to him, haha, wish i could turn back the time so that i can really treasure that moment again... today i really tried to be cheerful and i beleive God put my heart at ease to a certain extent, i could focus on my studies... to prepare for the next paper... my heart do think of val and wat she is doing or how is she doing.. but i know God will watch me... Daddy God, watch over her so that she will not be sway by the words of ppl, she will have the confidence to do things, and most of all the wisdom to make all her decisions... tonigth also i dun think val would call me... well i guess i gotta start facing reality slowly, she is no longer mine... she gotta live her own life... well but i do secretly hope things could change for the better of us... after all 16 months together aint short, it still full of happy memories.. had a really funny dinner today with my chill out gang... wow.. they are really so imporant for my recovery.. just helping to kep my mind off sad stuff.... dinner continue into some joke on the tabke where we started to discuss dance moves.. everybody laughed at everyones move.. aiya no ones moves seems to be right.. but oh wells.. it was a rather good day after all... and end the end of the day... i just hope everything to go well for val and that she will remain happy always..
Good night babe.. good night all...

still loving u babe...

she,my beloved

Today is the first day of the time off period between the both of us, i never knew it was so difficult to go by a day without val, i was counting down every min till 1130pm so i would be able to call her, looking at my hp at almost any slightest vibration felt by my subconscious mind, i miss her so much, memories of us in germany, krabi the times we shared just flashed in and out of my head, gosh,, everytime that happens i just close my eyes and ask God to take my emotions away, i just wanna put this whole relationship into God's hand, " Daddy God, anoint me and val with wisdom so that we will know wat we can do, daddy God, restore this relationship, val really means a world to me" .More often than not, this was my prayer, i just wish God will plant seeds of hope in her so that somehow things will turn ard. i readlised writing on this blog helps put my mind at rest, now i know why val and her gal pals like to blg so much, cos it just gives u an avenue to let out all that is vented up inside. gosh somehow i cant believe all these are happening, seemed like a bad nightmare that i wanna wake up from, and when i wake up, i wish my princess is still with me... sigh... pls oh opls... i just hope someone would tell me that this was all a bad joke..... perhaps just a plot 2 weeks before my bday... welll i do hope come two weeks, things would be different.... i trust u God... daddy.. i trust u to make things turn for the good for me and val...

perhaps the best verse of the day is psalms 121, "i lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? my help comes from the lord, the maker of heaven and earth, he will not let my foot slip, he who watches over you will not slumber... The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand, the sun will not harm u by day nor by night,the Lord will keep u fromm all ham,he will watch over ure life, the Lord watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore....

I love u my dear princess... wish u are here right now... hugs...