Emo Day

Some of my troubles are finally solved. Forgot that i save some $$ with mum every month. The figures seem to have grown quite substantially. Im bad at controlling my finances. I myself know that very well. On the other hand, prices of air tickets aint as low as i thought they were. Saw STA travel and thought they went at $1200 before taxes. Unfortunately, that's only if u travel in a group of 4. **sigh** The cheapest rates ive found is bout $1982 after taxes. Sigh. Thats bout another $400 worth of financing for me. Would prolly have enough after i chip in money from this month's pay. Spoke with mum, and she allowed me to withdraw $1600 from my savings.

She wanted to transfer the bank account back into my name, since all the $$ inside were saved by me every month after i get my salary... But i insisted that she keeps it under her name. Why!? cuz with the knowledge that im not broke, id prolly spend MORE $$. ugh. Speaking of which... think mum has been really nice and supportive these days. We went for lunch, she bought me a bag which she thinks suits me, but didnt even buy the bag she wanted. Gosh.. Id pop by JP tomorrow, and buy her the bag she originally wanted =) I love my family... my dad.. mum... bro... bf... =)

Kinda emotional today. Was at work, and all of a sudden i felt dull... Not the usual chirpy and crappy me. I read Al's email, and as weird as it sounds, i got depressed instead of happy. Stupid i know. Was feeling dull cuz im a lil upset with the way things are, i'm getting so reliant on the things aL say. Im like a rechargable battery, and he's the power source. When im tired, moody, had a bad day, i just wana look for my power source and recharge. It sucks when the power source happens to be in another time zone. was feeling sianz not because he wasnt around, but because of my reliance. I hate to be so emotionally dependent on someone. My ex did mention that this character of mine was very taxing on him, and he felt drained out. Hence im like tryin my utmost best to keep cool, keep in control, just basically get a grip on myself. ugh. Lucky for me... Now i can just BE MYSELF... the irrational, emotional val. Mum gave me the stern warning to be nice to aL. Asekd me not to "de chun jing chi"... and not make use of his "niceness" and step all over him... You know i never would mum!!! =) I'd love him like he's my most precious posession.

Glad aL's got internet access at his work place. His own table, own comp... =) guess he's not so deprived of internet access now. Hah. Glad he's updating his blog.. replyin mails.. keeping himself updated with his pals etc. At least it wont be too depressing for him. Foreign land w/o internet = Depression. hah.

Its gona be a hell long day for me. Lessons in the day.. Work at nite.. OT after work.. to make things worst. I even applied for OT on wednesday despite it being my rest day. ugh.. *itchy fingers* Gona go read those mails which aL sent... view his pix a lil... and im off 2 bed. =)

Nitez..